Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday: Identity

May 11, 2012 by Carey Jane Clark

The topic for today’s Five Minute Friday (with Gypsy Mama) is an intriguing one for me. I can’t believe I’m going to tackle it in only five minutes, but here goes:

GO.

The idea of identity has always been a tough one for me to get my head around. I’ve never been able to identify as just one role. Even when it came to putting my blog together, I struggled. Am I a homeschool mom or a writer? A mommy blogger or an author with a webpage? And now that we’re living here in China, am I a Canadian? An expat? What or who do I identify with?

In chatting with an American friend this week we discussed how Canadians are quick to identify their non-American-ness. Wherever we go here, we hear people discussing us and they’ll often make assumptions about where we’re from. We’re always quick to correct them and let them know, “No, I’m not American. I’m Canadian.” It’s that distinctive Canadian need to be distinct. Our American friend didn’t understand why, but every Canadian I know would relate in an instant.

But are any of these things my true identity? Is this where I find my fulfillment? No.

For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:3

It is in Christ that my identity makes sense. I’m not a split personality, straddling the worlds of writer and homeschool mommy–I’m a complete person in Him, the streams of His creativity and love flowing out from me in more than one direction. I am who He created me to be.

STOP.

- Carey Clark

Five Minute Friday: Loud

March 23, 2012 by Carey Jane Clark

I’m joining The Gypsy Mama again this week for Five Minute Friday. From her site:

Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays. We finger paint with words. We try to remember what it was like to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

Sounds great to me. This week the theme is “Loud.”

There is a crack and a bang. Cats run away, children scream–my children–no one else seems to notice.

Fireworks just went off a block away. I look out the window, see the tail of a cat streaking in the opposite direction and hear my children laugh. I see against the clear sky the faint lights of fireworks exploding.

It’s the middle of the day. It’s not a national holiday or a special occasion the rest of the world knows about.

Maybe it’s someone’s wedding. Or could be a new business just opened up. There doesn’t have to be a particularly spcial reason. It’s not like Canada, with permits and special days. there are demons to be scared off for just about any old reason. Or the sheer joy of it.

Later, my daughter recalls how she played with a bunch of children once who had firecrackers and were letting them off. “It’s fun,” she says, and I give her the standard lecture about firecrackers and safety and peers and their influence, but I know it’s part of life here.

It’s part of living in China.

And when the fireworks go off the next time, I barely flinch.

STOP

- Carey Clark

Five Minute Friday: Empty

March 9, 2012 by Carey Jane Clark

I’ve been lurking for some time at The Gypsy Mama and considering participating in her 5-Minute Fridays. The idea is that you write, unfettered and unfiltered, for five minutes. Each week, The Gypsy Mama provides a different theme. Figures I’d have decided to participate this week when the theme is “Empty.”

All week long, I’ve been concerned about full–how full the bins are getting–how cluttered things are. I felt we were holding to things lightly. After all, didn’t we sell everything we had when we decided to move to China almost four years ago? And yet here I am, cramming things into bins. I realize, a lot of it is vitamins–a year’s supply for five people–and we have four seasons’ worth of clothes and shoes, and books, books, books.

If we didn’t homeschool, it really wouldn’t be a problem. But how could I consider not homeschooling? Homeschooling has become not just what we do, but a part of who we are. It’s part of the core values of our family.

Where in all of this is empty? Lately, it has been easy to start to stress out. My son yesterday expressed some concern we wouldn’t get everything ready in time. My mother is troubled by the state of chaos in the room I’m occupying until we leave in , a.k.a. Packing Central. Every morning I’ve awakened with a sense of urgency about something unfinished. I haven’t slept much with the late night and early morning conversations with my husband during hours when he’s available to catch up with me in China.

In the midst of all of this, it’s my soul that has been tipping near the empty point. I felt it yesterday–the temptation to become easily annoyed, the exhaustion creeping in, the despair at all the clutter.

So I finally took the time I’ve been needing to restore my spirit, to refresh and renew in the presence of the One who faithfully fills me. And I’m no longer empty. I am filled.

Now to see about those bins.

STOP.

- Carey Clark