family traditions

Favorite Christmas Moments 2012

December 31, 2012 by Carey Jane Clark

We’re still recovering from the week of Christmas! We had guests on Friday evening, all afternoon and evening Saturday, Sunday our kids were involved in a pageant, and we had guests again on Christmas Eve and for dinner on Christmas. All in all I was so busy, I rarely held a camera. Fortunately, JavaMan was on hand, and we captured some wonderful memories.

The angel has news for Mary.

…and she brought forth her firstborn son and laid him in a manger…

…behold I bring you good tidings of great joy…

Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, goodwill toward men.

It was the first year our kids all worked hard at using their allowance savings to buy gifts for each other and for us. It was so wonderful to see them open each other’s gifts. Sweetpea took an idea she found in Clubhouse magazine and made each of us gift certificates good for favors and blessings. One of these days, I’ve got a whole day of homecooked meals coming to me, if I claim it!

- Carey Clark

Advent Traditions

December 1, 2012 by Carey Jane Clark

Family traditions and memory-making are very important to me. When we moved to China originally, I worked feverishly to finish up my Creative Memories albums and I dragged three giant albums of pictures here with us, much to JavaMan’s chagrin (it meant he could pack less coffee).

But I haven’t regretted it–and JavaMan would agree. It’s been wonderful to have those albums full of memories. Our kids regularly pull them out and have us recount the stories behind the pictures. Each of them has a special memory or two of our life B.C. (before China).

Some things didn’t make the cut when we were packing, and that goes for some of our favorite Christmas things–things that made up traditions we kept each year. It was tough leaving them out. In addition, some things are harder to do here, like Truth in the Tinsel, which we did last year. Although we’d love to do it again, the supplies are just too hard to come by here.

One thing we have done every year, however, is read one of the trilogy of Advent books by Arnold Ytreeide:

Jotham’s Journey
Bartholomew’s Passage
Tabitha’s Travels

This year, we’re using Bartholomew’s Passage. Each story features a first-century child. All the childrens’ lives intersect, and at the conclusion of each story, the children find themselves witness to a special event in Bethlehem, although each child sees the event from a slightly different perspective.

The stories are exciting–there is a cliffhanger at the end of each day’s reading–and there is a brief meditation at the end of each chapter that gives a chance to pause and think about the true meaning of the season as we celebrate Advent: the coming of the Savior.

This is the first year we’re also going to use the Jesse Tree. Since all the activities are free and printable from Ann Voskamp’s blog, it made the perfect substitute for the ones we left behind back “home.”

Advent begins tomorrow, December 2. What will you do to celebrate?

- Carey Clark

Five Minute Friday: Light

April 6, 2012 by Carey Jane Clark

{Note: This week’s Chinese lesson for kids is now available at Hold the MSG.com}

Today I’m joining up with The Gypsy Mama again for Five Minute Friday. the idea is that you write, uninhibited by concerns for perfection, for five minutes flat. This is hard for me (the not-concerned-about-perfection part, not the writing). But we’re going to give it a whirl again. Today, the theme is “light.”

GO.

Tomorrow we will celebrate Seder. It’s a tradition that began in our home when Pumpkin was still a baby. It’s something that, by tradition–our family’s and the traditional Seder’s–JavaMan usually leads. But he isn’t home from Korea yet. (He’s there getting a visa complication addressed.) He won’t be home until Wednesday.

At first the thought of pulling the whole thing together on my own was daunting. But our children were genuinely disappointed when they realized we were going to miss it. They can’t remember a year we didn’t celebrate it–even with all our wandering about the planet. So I set about to figure out how we could keep our tradition untraditionally. And I think maybe I’ve done it.

Instead of the full lamb dinner I usually prepare, I’m serving lamb stew. I’m planning to prepare the charoseth and even some gluten-free matzoh with help from the kids. With just one adult and all that reading, the dinner itself could be a challenge, so I’ve enlisted professional help.

We’re going to watch a Seder online and participate along with it. The significance of all the elements will be explained and it will last only 30 minutes, which satisfies even the wiggliest of my children. We’ll have our tradition and be flexible doing it. Our version of the Seder begins with a blessing and thanksgiving for The Light of the World.

STOP.

{Note that for a complete ceremony, you’ll need a Hagaddah–a guide–available here.}

- Carey Clark

Cultivating a Positive Family Atmosphere

January 10, 2012 by Carey Jane Clark

As we prepare to go back to China, we’re seeing lots of interesting emotions in our children. One moment, they’re ecstatic, looking forward to being settled into a routine and a life they’ve become familiar with and that they love.

Another moment, they’re sad about leaving behind friends and family and the country and lifestyle they’ve reacquainted themselves with in the last year and a half.

Even though the particular circumstances of our life might be different from those of other families, every family faces ups and downs. At times, every family faces the unknown.

In the midst of potential chaos, it’s helpful to have a solid foundation and a healthy family culture to provide strength to the family. But how do you build that?

Here are some things we’ve done in our family to ensure a positive family environment:

Dinners together – It’s wonderful to have a point in the day where everyone comes together and shares food. It’s a place we laugh and talk and share memories. I’ve been in homes that just aren’t set up for a family time together at the table, and it simply lacks the warmth that coming together around the table lends to the family environment. There is something about the family meal that strengthens the bonds of family. Experts are still scratching their heads about why it works, but they agree that “the less often a family eats together, the worse the experience is likely to be, the less healthy the food and the more meager the talk. Among those who eat together three or fewer times a week, 45% say the TV is on during meals (as opposed to 37% of all households), and nearly one-third say there isn’t much conversation” (quoted from Time magazine)
Traditions – Every family has traditions, but cultivating ones that are unique to your family is important. Last week marked one of the traditions we have inaugurated in our family–the annual celebration of Three King’s Day–the 12th day
2010

of Christmas, January 6–the time to celebrate when the three kings visited the Christ child. It has become as special to our children as Christmas day itself, and a way to properly mark the end of Christmas festivities. Another tradition we have kept is the annual Christmas tree hunt.
Memories – Whether you keep your family photos in a scrapbook, or keep a gratitude journal, or a family box of mementos, memory-keeping is tremendously important.
For more ideas about how to do this, check out Passionate Homemaking’s posts on Simple Ways of Treasuring Family Memories and 24 Ways and Reasons to Keep a Family Journal

2007
Family Activities – I’ve visited in homes where the family calendar would make you dizzy. While our lifestyle is always busy, it has never involved shuttling our three children to three different activities. We have always maintained that the activities we share together are the ones that matter most. So while our children have at different times participated in ballet, and karate and swimming lessons, we keep a strong focus on those activities we share together.
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We have always enjoyed riding our bikes together, and still remember fondly the bike rides we took with two strapped securely in their bike trailer while one pedaled furiously to keep up! Nature walks have given us other family together times we cherish.
Together Times – We have tried to cultivate an evening family time with games or reading together. We want our family to know that our times together are valuable, and to enjoy quality times together. We will occasionally watch movies together, but we try to keep our family times ones that encourage togetherness and tradition.
One-one-one time with each child – As our children have grown a little older, and especially as we’ve gone through a number of adjustments, moving around from place to place, we’ve learned how important it is to spend time alone with our children. It’s a time they can feel treasured and special and when direct one-on-one mentoring can occur. Questions and discussions come up that would never be raised when everyone is together.

What do you do to create a positive environment in your family?