Goal-Setting – Page 8

Cultivating a Positive Family Atmosphere

January 10, 2012 by Carey Jane Clark

As we prepare to go back to China, we’re seeing lots of interesting emotions in our children. One moment, they’re ecstatic, looking forward to being settled into a routine and a life they’ve become familiar with and that they love.

Another moment, they’re sad about leaving behind friends and family and the country and lifestyle they’ve reacquainted themselves with in the last year and a half.

Even though the particular circumstances of our life might be different from those of other families, every family faces ups and downs. At times, every family faces the unknown.

In the midst of potential chaos, it’s helpful to have a solid foundation and a healthy family culture to provide strength to the family. But how do you build that?

Here are some things we’ve done in our family to ensure a positive family environment:

Dinners together – It’s wonderful to have a point in the day where everyone comes together and shares food. It’s a place we laugh and talk and share memories. I’ve been in homes that just aren’t set up for a family time together at the table, and it simply lacks the warmth that coming together around the table lends to the family environment. There is something about the family meal that strengthens the bonds of family. Experts are still scratching their heads about why it works, but they agree that “the less often a family eats together, the worse the experience is likely to be, the less healthy the food and the more meager the talk. Among those who eat together three or fewer times a week, 45% say the TV is on during meals (as opposed to 37% of all households), and nearly one-third say there isn’t much conversation” (quoted from Time magazine)
Traditions – Every family has traditions, but cultivating ones that are unique to your family is important. Last week marked one of the traditions we have inaugurated in our family–the annual celebration of Three King’s Day–the 12th day
2010

of Christmas, January 6–the time to celebrate when the three kings visited the Christ child. It has become as special to our children as Christmas day itself, and a way to properly mark the end of Christmas festivities. Another tradition we have kept is the annual Christmas tree hunt.
Memories – Whether you keep your family photos in a scrapbook, or keep a gratitude journal, or a family box of mementos, memory-keeping is tremendously important.
For more ideas about how to do this, check out Passionate Homemaking’s posts on Simple Ways of Treasuring Family Memories and 24 Ways and Reasons to Keep a Family Journal

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Family Activities – I’ve visited in homes where the family calendar would make you dizzy. While our lifestyle is always busy, it has never involved shuttling our three children to three different activities. We have always maintained that the activities we share together are the ones that matter most. So while our children have at different times participated in ballet, and karate and swimming lessons, we keep a strong focus on those activities we share together.
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We have always enjoyed riding our bikes together, and still remember fondly the bike rides we took with two strapped securely in their bike trailer while one pedaled furiously to keep up! Nature walks have given us other family together times we cherish.
Together Times – We have tried to cultivate an evening family time with games or reading together. We want our family to know that our times together are valuable, and to enjoy quality times together. We will occasionally watch movies together, but we try to keep our family times ones that encourage togetherness and tradition.
One-one-one time with each child – As our children have grown a little older, and especially as we’ve gone through a number of adjustments, moving around from place to place, we’ve learned how important it is to spend time alone with our children. It’s a time they can feel treasured and special and when direct one-on-one mentoring can occur. Questions and discussions come up that would never be raised when everyone is together.

What do you do to create a positive environment in your family?

January – Bring it On!

January 8, 2012 by Carey Jane Clark

It’s January. I’m trying not to make New Year’s resolutions, which are not easily kept, but instead focus on goals. I am ready to put giant goals behind me and aim for small changes in my life this month that will make a big difference.

The biggest hurdle to conquer: getting to bed on time. I know from experience that when I get to bed on time, it’s easier to get up on time, which means it’s then easier to begin my morning routine.

It’s very important for me to be up and starting my routine before everyone else is awake. I need that time to feel like I have a jump on the day. But I’m sunk if I go to bed late.

The challenge: I find it hard to leave a job half-done. I’ll press on until it’s finished–often even if that means I’m up half the night. Bad idea.

On top of the normal challenges to get a jump on my routine, we are preparing to leave for China. My to-do list seems to be growing instead of shrinking.

With all this in mind, here are my January goals:

Go to bed at 10:00 p.m. – For half of the week, I did well with this, and my mornings and days followed suit.
Spend at least an hour a day purging and sorting in preparation for our move. So far, so good. I’m trying to do it in between other tasks, and that’s working for me. For example, the kids got out games for family time at the end of the day, and while they were playing, I did some consolidating with game boxes.
Keep homeschool time sacred – With so much to do, it’s tempting to encroach on homeschool time, but in the midst of the potential chaos, my children need structure. I did okay with this this week, except for one day which, honestly, was an utter failure. But we did manage to still have family time at the end of the day.

What are your challenges this month? What’s your plan to conquer them?

Stick with it Saturday 1-7-2012

January 7, 2012 by Carey Jane Clark

Exercise is not officially one of my New Year’s resolutions. But getting to bed on time is one of my goals for this month, and when I do, my schedule suddenly accommodates my exercise routine (magic, isn’t it?). Until this week, I hadn’t exercised since the miscarriage.

I have a string of excuses, and some legitimate reasons: I wasn’t feeling well, and was probably a little low in spirits after the miscarriage, then things were busy as I revised my novel in preparation for publication. Finally, in January, I fell and injured my rotator cuff, and exercise was impossible.

I have been extremely fortunate, because recovery was quick–quicker than it’s “supposed” to be, and I now have the return of almost 100% range of motion, almost completely pain free.

So it was time to get back at it.

I resisted the urge to jump in hard core, as is my usual modus operandi, and instead decided a gentle approach was best. I started back with Leslie Sansone’s Walk Away the Pounds. Halfway through the week, I couldn’t resist ramping it up a bit and did interval training on the mini trampoline, but went back to playing it safe the rest of the week–although my shoulder felt great.

Sunday – Walk Away the Pounds – 2 mile walk

Monday – Walk Away the Pounds – 2 mile walk

Tuesday – mini trampoline, interval training

Wednesday – didn’t go to bed on time the night before

Thursday – didn’t go to bed on time the night before

Friday – Walk Away the Pounds – 2 mile walk

Saturday – mini trampoline, interval training

December 3 in 30 Wrap-up

December 31, 2011 by Carey Jane Clark

Please also visit my heartfelt post about the Power of Forgiveness at Tina’s Book Reviews.

Remember how I was going to have a disciplined December? I didn’t. There are so many areas in which I feel I need to pull up the proverbial bootstraps as the new year rolls in. I agree with all the people who say making resolutions isn’t a good habit, since they lead to defeat. Goal-making is the better way.

But looking at all that I would like to see happen in January against what is stacked up for me there already (packing up to move back to China, and the continuation of the virtual book tour), it’s hard not to be just the teensiest bit overwhelmed (or to start hyperventilating). I’m aware of a weakness I encounter every time the task looks insurmountable: I freeze. The key, I know, is to take baby steps.

As I reflect on the old year, and in particular this last month, it feels as if the chaos is winning. So you’ll have to wait until next week to see how I plan to keep sane in the midst of it–even conquer it.

Here’s how I did on my goals for this month:

Take control of my personal routine – Well, I did manage to get up earlier and spend more time in my devotional life. To call it regular, however, would be seriously stretching things. I need to work on one key ingredient: going to bed on time.
Regroup in the homeschool department – Readers of this blog probably saw this coming long before I did, but the change needed here was mental, and I think I’m there. I need to pare down. After all, when we first move back to Asia, we’ll be living temporarily in Hong Kong before we take up residence in our home in China. JavaMan will precede us to arrange for our apartment and have our stored belongings moved in.
The blog tour is going well, and for my first one, I think I can count it a success–not that it’s over yet. There is a lot of work yet to do. I’ve had to make some mental adjustments here, too.

This is definitely a helpful exercise, because while I feel like a bit of a failure this month, when I look at what I set out to do and see what I actually did, I can see my successes too.

How are you wrapping up the old year? Did you accomplish your goals?

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