In June 2010, one week after arriving in Canada after our first two years in China, I miscarried. I was ten weeks along, but the doctor reported that the baby hadn’t developed beyond six weeks. He diagnosed a blighted ovum pregnancy.
After three relatively simple, healthy pregnancies, this came as a shock to me, to my husband and our three children.
In November of the same year, I experienced another miscarriage at eight weeks, even after a healthy heartbeat had been detected at seven weeks. At the time, I was under the care of a physician and was receiving injections of progesterone.
In September 2010, I experienced yet another miscarriage. at six weeks. I didn’t have the opportunity to carry these children in my arms, but I carry them in my heart.
What I have learned, among other things, is that miscarriage is a silent grief–that people don’t talk about it. And when I have discussed it, I am aware that it can make others uncomfortable. But I believe that talking about it and recognizing it is a healthy step in the grieving process.
If you have also experienced miscarriage, here are some helpful and comforting resources:
Molly’s Rosebush – a story to help children cope with loss due to miscarriage. I am a big believer in the healing and comforting power of story.
Each miscarriage was a different emotional experience for me. Unlike some who share my faith, I do not believe that “God takes away.” I believe that the evil (the stealing, killing and destroying) in the world–whatever form it takes–comes from a different source from that of my heavenly Father, who has only good gifts to give, and who sent Jesus to give abundant life.
After the last miscarriage, a scripture became very real to me:
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
In large part, our attitude toward the circumstances life hands us is a matter of choice. I choose to be grateful for the beautiful children I do have and focus on loving them.
I also found unexpected comfort recently on a roadtrip as my family and I listened to the audiobook version of Heaven is for Real. I encourage you to find yourself a copy.
If you have experienced the grief of miscarriage and need someone to talk to, feel free to use the contact link on this site to get in touch with me.